She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
i now understand why vodka
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
