i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
