I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
