matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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