Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
