Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize