So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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