I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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