if only i could text you this smell
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
