even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
