I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
