Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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