So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm always down for nudity.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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