The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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