Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize