Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
