we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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