All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
