we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
