Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
