Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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