my phone needs a breathalizer
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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