I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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