WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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