dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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