I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
