Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
