That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
