Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
