I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.