Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
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there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage