Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank