How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
