Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
