i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
did you just send me my own nude
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
