lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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