ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
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Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
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Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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