Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
