So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
