I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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