Me too!
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
