So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
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when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
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And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize