He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
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if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
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Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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