Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize