help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
