You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
