Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
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I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
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Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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