it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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