You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
