is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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