Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
