i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize