did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
