If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
