I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
my liver is dry heaving
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize