Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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